INCREASE-DECREASE

A child cries on the train
The mother cradles it
Until it coos calmy
She looks at me
And smiles

He’s only seven months
She says

I awwwww and do that
Coochie coo thing
Weeping with envy
Behind a shaky silly voice

Realizing I
Am now too old to
Be pacified
Too big to be cradled
And too late

For work
To even think about it

Pop,

You’re a good dude, and though you weren’t there for the latter part of my upbringing, I turned out alright. And the truth is, the years you were there, I hold as precious memories and look forward to implementing some of your shining qualities to my own future kids (somersaults on the bed!). I just wish you could’ve been with me when I was going through the teen thing. Wish we could’ve talked about some things.  You know, gave me a few Man talks, and how-to’s. But we both are ok now, and there’s no more reason for hate, or guilt.

Father’s are human too.

With love,

Jason

You’re fired.

Thanks,

Celtics Management

I was talking to a young couple yesterday outside of G-Star clothing store on Prince and Lafayette. They had a new baby with them, maybe a month old. The guy was talking to me in typical New York, arms flailing, sons, boys, g’s, my dudes, etc. His lady was just sitting back while we conversed, when suddenly the baby started to cry. You would’ve thought someone just started shooting judging from the reaction of the man. He quickly cut me off, reached into the stroller and scooped his child up with one hand. A baby girl. He reached the other arm in the bag and pulled out a bottle.

He became mush, right before my eyes. His lady never flinched. She was used to this.

I wasn’t. And that fact, is unfortunate.

Only tall people are allowed to carry umbrellas. Everyone else, just walk under. That way, everyone is covered, and I dont have to worry about being stabbed in the eye by some totally unfocused woman on her cell phone, trying to figure out which Dean & Deluca she’s supposed to be meeting her friend at.

Imagine that woman, times three thousand.

Exactly. I’ll be blind witin the first 45 seconds off the train.

Another excerpt from, “The Collected, Very, Very Short Stories of Pat Snow: Retail Worker”

Hope yall dig.

Training Day

There’s a mother shopping with her daughter, showing her the ropes. The little girl tears through the racks of clothes, flinging and slinging them across the floor, while the mother applauds with delight.

“Very good! Don’t worry, you will get better at this once you get a little older.”

The daughter stops after noticing a clearly disgruntle sales associate looking down at her.

“Ah,” the mother says to the daughter, “you will also learn more about them. You see dear, the two-legged, two-armed, two-eyed, two-eared, human-faced thing, is, in fact, not a human at all. They don’t eat what we eat, or drink what we drink. They don’t think like we think, or breathe the air we breathe. They don’t speak our language. Most importantly, if you cut them, they wont bleed. You got that? If you cut them, they wont bleed.”

The daughter looked confused by what her mother had just said, but trusting her words, continued to throw clothes on the floor.

Just so yall know.

(What a ramble.)

Think about it and the next time you see it, feel free to celebrate as well.